Chloe Reviews Your Favorite Movie

This week, I will be reviewing your favorite movie, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close (I say, as if I usually review movies on this here blogosphere)

So, for the record, I did not want to see this movie, but it was not like when I didn't want to see War Horse and I went into it already pissed off. It was more like when I didn't want to see Warrior. I was pretty sure I wouldn't like it, but I was open-minded enough about it that if it was an Oscar-worthy movie (which apparently it is, the academy) then I would fall in love with it.

However, this movie did not impress me at all. I had been assured by many people (mostly my mom) that it was not going to be an overly emotional, cliched film about 9/11, because the book was more about Oskar's connection to his dad. That is a straight up lie. While the main plot point is that Oskar is trying to find what the key his dad left unlocks, 9/11 was brought up about every 30 seconds, complete with shots of strangers crying as soon as Oskar said "my dad died in the towers."

My second problem with this movie was that the kid in it is the WORST ACTOR EVER. Maybe I'm just spoiled because I've already seen Hugo, which was pretty great, and the kid in it was phenomenal for his age. I know that the character in your favorite movie (this movie that we're discussing) is supposed to have undiagnosed aspbergers, or something, but even that does not excuse the odd way that he chose to accent his words. That was an awkward sentence that I just typed, and it's kind of hard to capture just how odd he sounded when he talked. You'd have to see it to fully understand, but for now, just think of the time that Condaleeza Rice was on 30 Rock, and magnify how bad her acting was by about 50, with many of the same inflections, and you have this kid.

Finally, and I know this wasn't the movie's fault because it was part of the book, I could NOT STOP LAUGHING when Oskar starts carrying around a tambourine to "keep him calm." Having worked a lot with autistic kids, I would think that someone who is supposed to have a form of autism would not choose to carry around a noisemaker as a calming object, simply because a lot of people with autism don't like loud noises (which is why Tess keeps telling me I have autism.) Oskar himself has a huge issue with loud noises that is frequently addressed throughout the movie, and he combats it by...shaking...a tambourine...and making more noise. OK.

So I thought of a couple alternate titles for this movie after I was done watching it and I was in the car with my friend who LOVED it, trying not to say anything 'cause I didn't want to be a dick.

Extremely Long and Incredibly Mediocre

9/11 and Aspbergers Disease: The Saga of one Extremely Annoying Little Kid

I know both my titles suck. I never said I was the best movie namer ever. That's not why I'm in this business (blogging about stuff.) I think the best alternate title was on videogum, which called the movie Extremely 9 and Incredibly 11.

Also, if this movie wins best picture I will freak out.

Final Rating: On a scale of 1 to War Horse (with one being the highest and War Horse being in the negative number area), I'd put this movie somewhere around the TV remake of Pride and Prejudice, From Prada to Nada with that girl that was in Spy Kids. And Camilla Belle.