Valentimes Manifesto

I think this quote from my woman Sylvia pretty much sums it up.

As I am sure you have all gleaned from the seasonal candy in the grocery store, Valentines Day, or ValenTIMES, as I prefer to call it, is almost upon us. Whether you love it, hate it, or don't really care either way, you all have to admit, there's nothing like a heart-shaped Reeses to soothe the soul.

ANYWHO.  I felt in the spirit of Valentimes, I should write a blog about lurrrve.  I believe I did the same-ish thing last year around this time:

http://chloesusublog.blogspot.com/2012/02/valentimes.html

but I think this post might be a little more serious, as I am older, wiser, more pensive, and have longer hair now (which totally makes a difference.)

I don't want to generalize or make assumptions about you all, dear readers.  These are just some observations I have made in my own life, as well as in the lives of a few of my close friends.  Maybe we are just a highly dysfunctional group romantically?  I'm not sure.  At least we're pretty, we have that going for us.

I think that the quote I put at the top of this post really sums up my feelings on life, love, and so on.  I either really, really love people, or I do not like them in the slightest.  There is very little middle ground.  I recognize that both of these viewpoints are unhealthy.

On the one hand (the more Valentimes-ish hand) loving people too much, while it sounds great and makes for beautiful prose, is sooooooooooo not a good idea.  It may sound wonderful to "lose yourself" in someone else, but in reality, losing yourself means having to find yourself again should that person ever leave you.  It's far, far better to love yourself and let that love naturally bleed over into love for another person.  If you let someone become your whole world you end up neglecting what's most important (selfish as it sounds)...your own personal happiness and well-being.  It's one thing to let making someone happy be something that makes you happy, it's another thing to let it be the only thing that makes you happy.  Do you understand the distinction I am trying to make?  I'm sure you do.  You seem pretty smart, whoever you are.

On the other hand, it's terrible, but it's something I'm quite guilty of...letting bad first impressions or negative experiences make us hate people is equally unhealthy.  Hatred and the kind of all-encompassing, obsessive infatuation I described earlier are really similar, I think.  Either way, one person becomes the focus of all your energy, and it's really detrimental to your mental health. Also, letting yourself be so consumed by negative emotions can hinder your ability to form long-lasting or healthy relationships later.

I'm sure this is a preaching-to-the-choir kind of post.  I just wanted to talk my feelings out via blog, because it's 2013 and no one has a diary any more.