Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Valentimes

I bet you are all hoping that I will either:

a) Blog about how much I hate Valentimes, not because I'm bitter about being single, but because love should be celebrated every day, or something, which is a dumb reason to hate a holiday. Do you also hate Father's Day or Mother's Day because you should celebrate your parents every day? Anyway...

b) Blog about my undying love for some boy who will read my blog, see that I am in love with him, and immediately fall into my loving embrace, or something.

But alas, I am not going to do either of those things. Because hating Valentimes day (yes I know that it's actually Valentines, picky readers) is stupid, and so is declaring your love on the blogosphere. Especially since no one ever just writes, "oh hey, by the way, I have a crush on you, Jake Ryan (or whatever this guy's name is.)" It's always more like "this boy, no, this man, has my whole heart, and he doesn't know how beautiful his deep ocean blue eyes are. I hope that he somehow knows that it's him I speak of, because of *THINLY VEILED REFERENCE TO SOMETHING YOU TALKED ABOUT ONE TIME*" Annnnnnd I don't talk like that. Ever. The closest I come is saying, "yeah, homeboy is pretty foxyfly." Also, I am not Nicholas Sparks, any character playing opposite Channing Tatum in any movie ever, or a fourteen year old with braces who has never spoken to her crush.

Anyways, I'm just wondering how many confessions of love there will be today. For some reason, Gary Marshall (yep, he's gonna take the fall for terrible rom coms today) has decided to make a series of movies (or should I say a series of the same movie but with a different setting) telling everyone how every holiday in the history of the world is a holiday where one should tell the truth to the one one loves, whether it's because the ball in Times Square is stuck halfway to the top of...the thing that drops the ball...I don't know the technical term... or because Thanksgiving is a time for giving thanks for love in your lives, and how can you give thanks if the person doesn't know you love them??? If you got confused reading this paragraph, good, because I get confused every time one of my friends or sisters forces me to go see a Gary Marshall film.


This video from 30 Rock pretty much sums up the plot of Valentines Day and New Years Eve. I just saved you 2 dollars at Redbox (or probably more than that, because you will probably keep both movies much longer than a day because they are soooooo good.)

Alright, so, I kind of lost track of where this post was going. How grand. I'll just conclude by saying that I don't mind Valentimes. It's a day with a lot of pink things involved, which I appreciate. Additionally, my mom sends me a bunch of candy with a balloon tied to it and my French professor gives me cupcakes. So while I usually feel like a diabetic by the end of the day, overall, it's a good day, and I'm not going to be dramatic about it. The end.

Now I'm going to go watch Valentines Day (I'm not going to watch Valentines Day)


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