Annnnd I laughed. A lot.
But then I started thinking, "Oh man, I am the worst at flirting, and this girl is probably giving better flirting tips than I ever could."
Case in point. My freshman year of college, before my friend Sean V. was my friend Sean V., errybody in my apartment wanted a piece of Sean V. We just didn't say so to each other. Anyways, I was the first to try for his affections (then my roommate Ali made out with him while I was home for the weekend and I didn't like him any more)
So the first time that I thought to myself, self, you know what would be a good idea? To intentionally say something flirtatious to Sean instead of letting conversation flow naturally, because when you do that, you friendzone yourself SO hard, I managed to say literally the worst thing in the history of the world.
Do you want to know what that was?
I'm sure you do.
So, I don't remember how the topic came up, but we were talking about geocacheing. Sean was saying in high school they would geocache in gym, for some reason. Of course, I know a good opportunity to put the moves on a bro when I see one. So, I flirtatiously asked what he did with the things he found, such as the toy horse he was particularly proud of uncovering. He told me he had to put the items back.
Do you want to know what I said to that? Oh man, I don't even know if I want to tell my reader what I said to that.
Ok...fine.
I said, and I quote, "If it were me, I'd like...take a dump on it. So the next person who found it would be all, what the hell, man."
So just to re-cap, here are Chloe's Tips on Flirting:
1. If you want to impress a boy, ask him about his geocacheing.
2. When the boy tells you about things he geocached, tell him he's dumb for not having defecated on the items he found.
3. Enjoy having a million boyfriends, because this technique always works.
You win, hannahmiller9927.
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